Did you get all that in the title of this blog post?!
Yes I can be a little bit of a lateral thinker but reading the articles in the paper this morning about the Government's latest policy wonk on doing business, being part of Asia, blah blah - the sections on matching, and hopefully bettering the standards of education for Australia versus Asian countries really got me thinking.
It was reassuring, as just for the last three hours I have been doing all our paperwork. Most of this relates to our nightmare cash juggle going on at the moment due to a delayed tax return (to be audited by the ATO), a delayed Building Boost Grant for our new property in Mackay and said property nearing completion (so full expenditure outlaid) but no rent yet (so the interest payment has to be paid fully by us, not partially by rent) (another blog post I guess due on this).
I have done an extremely detailed budget since July of this year on what we spend our money on. Much of the bulk of it is non-discretionary (for example car lease repayments, health and life insurances, telephone/internet plan). Some of it is discretionary but are not able to be changed (au pair costs, petrol costs, medical expenses). Others are discretionary such as groceries, cash withdrawals, eating out and ...... kids' extra curricular.
Remember in my last post I was talking about overscheduling. Well with that comes a lot of cost. T's piano lessons are $30 per half hour. Tennis is $15 per hour, swimming is nearly $20 per hour (times by two for T and E), cricket, soccer, swim club are each $200 per season approximately, chess is $14 per week, acting $17 per week, W kindergym is $17 per week, W & E music is $25 per week approximately. It really does add up.
Yet when you read why Asian students do better - it is partially their private/public education system but the research has shown it is also the parents of these children who invest a lot of time and money into their children's education. That is, there is an emphasis in the home on education and something like an extra 20% of schooling costs are spent on outside tutoring.
Of course, we all know the stories of lack of balance and overdoing it with education, especially with Asian families (or families who have suffered hardship as refugess etc and therefore place a lot of pressure on the second generation to do well). Let's leave these outliers out there. I hope I am not perceived as that.
I do consider myself a 'Tiger Mother' and proudly so. That book is an excellent, HUMOUROUS read - she really does take the mickey out of herself - even the photos in the book are hysterical. If it is read without that New York self-denigration it may be seen as over the top. But really she is laughing at herself whilst still making some good points.
So I may be the world's worst cook and house cleaner - but that is not what I love or enjoy about life or parenting - so I outsource what I can, and do very little of what is left. I can take a few days to tidy the house - I can step over toys and clothes on my way to piano practice with T, or doing puzzles with W or reading stories to E. These are my priorities. And actually my other priorites on top of housework/cooking etc are my own health and exercise (pilates) and my relationship with my husband (date nights, having a glass of wine by the pool together, going to bed early together).
But in light of the research, the Asian White Paper and what I feel is right inside me - I think my financial and time priorities are right.
Extending, inspiring, growing my children as to the wonder of the world (science, maths, the beauty of the English language, French language and culture, natural environment & it's beauty, etc) is what I enjoy as well as what I think will set them up for life. In doing this, if I make life easier for them to do well at school - I believe this is a major part of self-esteem building. I want my children to believe that if they work hard enough at anything, they can have whatever they want.
In addition the core values of hard work, persistence, learning how to do it tough for a good reason, looking at the long term are very important in my eyes. My personal opinion is that too many kids are spoiled by the parents not necessarily financially but that we make it too easy for our kids. T and W both should (doesn't happen all the time!) set the dinner table, clear away their plates, get dressed on their own, put their washing in the basket, clean away their toys, sweep the leaves, clean the cars, etc. Ideally they should also make their beds but bunk beds are hard to make for little bodies.
T is a wonderful helper when I really need it - yesterday he put on E's shoes for me and buckled him into the car seat when I was in a mad flap to get to the piano concert sans husband. In addition he runs up and down the stairs for me to save my legs whilst I am so fat! He is a responsible 7 year old. He rarely rolls his eyes or complains at my requests. It is first child syndrome I think, to take that responsibility on and with more siblings that responsiblity is greater still. But he is not a 'heavy hearted' child or overly serious (should have heard him laugh when he was reading excerpts from Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton's book The Very Bad Book - a book ideal for boys - all about dead flies, poo, wee etc).
So there are my random, self-justifying thoughts for the morning!
On a side note, T is really addicted to chess AND he beat me fairly and squarely this morning. First time. I lost my queen early and it was all downhill from there.
T learnt the whole first movement of Sonatina in G right hand in two days. His memory impresses me all the time. I wonder if I could learn things as quickly as him? My friend whose daughter also learns from our piano teacher, had her daughter assessed by a psychologist for some reason (can't remember what for) but the little girl had the memory scores of beyond an adult. My friend believes it is from learning Suzuki method piano - where for the first year and half or so, the children learn to play from memory and ear before they learn to read the music.
Piano concert was a success - T loved it. It was long though and I made him sit through it with no iphone or ipad to play with. Once again, at 7 years old, I believe children need to learn to be a) bored and b) uncomfortable at times. If they don't learn now, when will they learn? T was pretty cranky at me (understatement) given the other kids were allowed on said technology. Told you I was a Tiger Mother. And so you see piano is sometimes is not about piano. As Dr Suzuki says, "Character first, ability second".
Very grainy shot of T at piano concert receiving his graduation certificate. The glorious Aven (he plays the piano such that it makes me cry EVERY TIME I hear him) is behind at the back. And yes there are a lot of Asian students who learn Suzuki ..... see above on Asian White Paper!
Labels: Maths, Overcommitting, super mum, Suzuki piano
