Yes well got to love the post partum early weight loss. Approximately 2 kilograms lost this week, though this fluctuates each day as if I drink a lot of water at night, or if I get little sleep, or if I breast feed a lot - it changes by up to 500 gm. Goes to show you that you SHOULD NOT weigh yourself every day. However I find that it keeps me honest during the day knowing I need to weigh in tomorrow.
I was talking with a friend the other day who said, "Why are you worried about losing weight? You know what you need to do and you are one of the strongest people I know, so you'll do it!"
Aaagh this is so true - I am a strong willed person (yes everyone stop laughing at me now) however when it comes to diet/food I am not at all strong. Think this is the primary reason I married my husband (not really, D, but still I respect you a lot for it) - he is sooooo super good at his eating and exercise. He would never knowingly put crap in his mouth. He does pushups and situps every night if he doesn't go to the gym or go for a run. And most days he does go to the gym or for a run. Just yesterday he went for a run - a hilly circuit of 10km. But that wasn't a big run for him! I am so jealous of a) his fitness level (even when he hasn't run for a month he can just start again with said hilly 10km circuit) and b) his commitment to exercise and healthy eating and therefore his willpower.
D apparently was a chubby child until his teen years, so much so he got called names and bullied and was not popular. In his early teens he discovered running and he discovered that success in sport also makes one popular. Talk about early brainwashing - no wonder it is hard for him to let go of his association of sport and self-worth. When D had to give up triathlon for family, it was tough for this reason. And when family, work and MBA meant he couldn't exercise at the level he would like - it was also tough. He is definitely much happier when he is exercising, but I believe he also needs to understand that he is a good (no, great) person even if he is not exercising or perfectly toned and fit. I think I am yet to convince him completely.
Anyway, back to me (gee a whole paragraph not about me - a record?) So, I am good at setting and achieving most goals, except eating. I am good at exercise - I enjoy, love the natural drug high from the endorphins and don't find it all hard to motivate myself to do it. However when it comes to limiting my portion sizes particularly when eating out ... why is that so hard for me?
There is probably some deeply ingrained childhood lessons learnt (I don't really know what they were specifically) around food and comfort and well being. Something that linked, in my brain, food with self-care. Food for me is a reward. In the past, if I have had a bad day (work, home, whatever) food was my reward for surviving it and getting through it. When I was rich (ie living in Hong Kong and the years thereafter) that food was eating out food (gosh it was good!). Now that I am relatively more poor - my reward foods have been, very embarrassing to admit, such wonderful items such as McDonalds (cheeseburgers, fries, thick shakes and hot apple pies), salami and biltong and other antipasta meats, creamy dips and crackers, potato chips. But also reward foods in the form of large meals generally.
I am a shocker for multi-tasking when I eat - predominantly reading the paper or a book whilst eating. Such that I have no memory of eating and therefore do not 'listen' to when my body has had sufficient or really enjoy the meal. Also I am very good at eating on the run - ie when in the kitchen, just snacking generally as I cook dinner, clean up, etc. Once again, I am not 'aware' of what or how much I am eating. I am also not good at making a proper meal for myself - but rather snacking on easy things such as a slice of cheese, a cracker and dip, a slice of salami, buttered bread etc.
All these things I know contribute to 'unconscious' eating. So my prescription for myself is to become 'present' to my eating at all times. Hardest to break will be my paper over breakfast. Also remembering (and having the ability) not to stand at the counter and eat in a hurry, but actually sit and look at my food and consume it slowly and with awareness. If it means not eating right now, but waiting until that moment is available, so be it. Hard for me, as in the past, I have definitely had the sensation and mentality of 'Got to eat now!'.
However some good news. I am still sugar free - three weeks tomorrow. It really has been easy. I have had one or two cravings for a piece of chocolate after dinner, but nothing too bad.
S has been feeding non-stop for the last few days. Like two hourly. So I have been super hungry - last night I just about inhaled my dinner - luckily it was shepherd's pie - filled with vegetables and good stuff. The dinner the day before was awesome - grilled salmon fillet, rice and salad. I could have this every day for the rest of my life!
So am still just going easy on myself - will wait until mid January once the baby weight has gone. I imagine it will start to level out soon - I think it could be 11 - 12 kg I will need to lose.
I have been doing my strength exercises - which feel great. I use a stretch band. This is a piece of stretching plastic - no handles . The chart below is pretty similar to what I do. I have mainly been doing arm and back exercises with it.
I also have done some squats with the swiss ball against the wall, and the good old 'clam' exercises for my butt muscles. There is a picture below. I also add clam kick out (do clam but then kick top leg back like a karate heel kick) and also then I write the letters of the alphabet in the air with my top leg (yowie it hurts). 15 clams and clam kick outs each side plus the alphabet gives me a sore butt the next day so I know it is working!
I have also managed two small walks - one with baby in the sling (how did I ever cope pregnant with that extra weight?!) and one with baby in pram. However the weather here at all hours of the day and night is too humid for very much outdoor exercise in my opinion!
Pelvic floor and t-zone exercises also when I remember (kegels). The stretch band exercises require a strong core/t-zone so this is excellent for getting it back. I am still unable to do a sit-up (that is, get myself upright out of bed without rolling onto my side or using an arm to prop me up). When I do - I get that strange cone shape in my tummy so that is not good. Don't want any stomach muscle damage.
I have been doing some hovers (see below) though they are hard work - getting down to the floor and back up again is part of why it is hard! Also my floor is not particularly clean and I get depressed hovering there looking at the dirt. I need to do it blindfolded perhaps?
So there is my update for the week - focus this week, therefore, is conscious eating. Being present to eating and listening to my body and enjoying the food.
Anyone have any thoughts for me on this or any of my diet/exercise plans? Would love to hear from you - you can comment below anonymously without signing in, or else comment on facebook if that is how you got here!
Labels: eating, fitness, pregnancy, weight loss
