For various reasons, I have had a melancholy weekend. It has culminated in feeling shell shocked at how quickly the children are growing up. They are not babies any more - at least, William and Eddie aren't. We have only had the three this weekend - I think this is why I am a bit sweet/sad feeling. I know that the most important role as parents is to teach our children to be independent ... but as it happens, heart wrenching and achingly painful and beautiful and joyous all at the same time.
Tom is in Brisbane this weekend visiting his grandparents and staying with a friend from Brisbane. He travelled up in the plane all on his own! He was completely excited once he had been reassured that the plane is very unlikely to crash (Malaysian airlines news reports do you think??!! Not sure where that came from).
William and Eddie ran around the winery picnic outing we had today completely independently. Up to the water feature to scrape money from the bottom (I imagine by lying on their tummies and reaching in, as they were not wet!) - I did tell them to throw them back in as it was bad luck but not sure all the 5c pieces were returned ..... Into the cellar door and up the stairs to the roof of the building to shout down at us. Around the grounds and in the shrubbery playing hide and seek. For about four hours, we didn't really see them except when they needed water or food.
Sammy ran off, of course, within 5 minutes of us arriving and we "lost him" again. S&D, if you are reading, you will smile, as this happens ALL THE TIME when we are out socialising. He had run back towards where we had walked in and I had held his hand while he walked over the top of a brick wall over a bridge. He was 200 m away from us climbing back over the arch of the bridge on the brick wall on his own! Damien did the mad bolt back to get him before he could fall off. You will be pleased to know we didn't lose him again today. Nor was any ambulatory service required.
But Sammy is such a perfect child. At midday he started getting cranky so we put him in the $19 target stroller with no layback position, and presto, sleep. Whilst we drank and ate. The sun was shining and the weather magnificent. Could not have ordered better. Goats cheese, quince paste - purchased from the farmer's market there with two bottles of pinot noir. Wonderful "kindred spirit" friends. Bliss.
But driving home, I realised that a) life is definitely getting easier with the children most of the time and b) that means they are growing up. Which in turn fills me with an urgency and fear that I am not savouring these hours, days and years of their babydom. I think me going back to work also is a big part of this. Part of me wants to just stay at home and do playdough with them, make train tracks, go to the park, bake cakes, watch Wiggles dvds, and Maisy dvds, and Pingu dvds (I really do love them all), do puzzles, steal lunchtime naps with them, etc. This weekend, that part of me seems to overwhelm the part of me that loves going to work, and being independent again. Sigh. Be careful what you wish for - could never be truer.
I am so glad I have this blog. I wish I had started it when Tom was little. This is my 181st blog post. Nearly 22,000 hits (though a lot of these are to pick up some of the stock pictures I have used in the past). 4 followers (thanks Mum!) (isn't that hysterical?! Only 4 followers! Without facebook I think I would have about 200 hits in total if that. There is truth that one person's ordinary life ... is just that!) But it is always there for me to scroll through and remember and love it.
